IVF ... what?

Let's go through the steps of IVF ... just for fun! My mom said I should write all that has happened in a journal of some kind, just so Matt and I could reflect on things in the future. So let me begin at, well, the beginning.

On July 4th Matt got the fun job of giving me 2 shots every day. One in the morning, one in the evening. He did a wonderful job and there was very little pain or discomfort. On July 8th we started our daily trips (for ultrasound and blood work) to the doctor's office and learned that my body was responding VERY well to the shots. They started me on another shot (that now makes 3 a day) to keep me from ovulating. Everything was going well and the only thing I was noticing was a swollen abdomen.

On July 15th (with a very swollen abdomen and in a lot of discomfort) our doctors went in to retrieve the eggs. They were able to get 26 eggs. They called me the egg making machine. Out of those 26, 23 of them were mature and able to be fertilized. Out of the 23 eggs that were fertilized, 21 of them took and started to develop. Well, they knew we were not going to use all 21 this first time (only 2) so they took 10 of them and froze them on day 1 of fertilization. That left 11 to continue to develop and monitor.

I have to say that on the 15th I was in a LOT of pain. Matt was great at helping with the pain management and keeping me comfortable. I stayed in bed for the rest of the day and most of the next day. However by the end of the 16th of July I was feeling a lot better, even if I was still very swollen.

Our big day for implanting of embryos was the 20th of July. We went in at our scheduled time and everything went smoothly. We stopped a couple of times on the way home and then just rested for the remainder of the day. Everything seemed wonderful.

On July 30th we went in for a beta check (checking our hCG levels and progesterone levels). They came back with a low positive. We had to go back on the 2nd of August for another level check. Those results came back with a number that had doubled. Things were looking great! On Wednesday, August 4th they did one more check of the blood to see how things were progressing. At that point my numbers had increased even more and they gave me a due date of April 11th. Matt and I were on cloud nine ...

Then, on Friday, August 6th I started spotting. I about fainted and started crying. This could not be happening. I woke up Matt and he called our doctor's office. They assured me that spotting can be normal, but if there was a lot of blood to call back. On Saturday morning there was even more blood, again an early morning call to the doctor's office and they had us come in. Our numbers were not good ... and they prepared us for miscarriage. They wanted us to come back in on Monday, August 9th for more blood work. Since August 9th was the first day of school I had to go after work and the results did not come back until Tuesday the 10th.

Our doctor personally called. Matt talked to him and he took me off all medications. My numbers had not shown much progress and it appeared that my body was starting the cycle for miscarriage. Matt and I were now just devastated, to say the very least. How in the world? What was going on? This was NOT suppose to happen?!

Interesting thing happened on that Tuesday, when all the medication was stopped, I also stopped bleeding. Nothing happened like they said it would. I started feeling sick ... but no other symptoms. I could not wrap my head around it.

On (funny enough) Friday, August 13th my body appeared to start the cycle of miscarriage. It was heartbreaking for both Matt and I. We said our good-byes to our beloved babies and preceded through the rest of the weekend.

On Monday, August 16th I had to take a half day for another doctor's appointment. We got a phone call with a shocked nurse ... our numbers had increased ... A LOT!! The doctor was concerned and wanted me in today, Tuesday, August 17th for ultrasound and more blood work.

Ectopic (tubal) pregnancy was the last thing we expected to hear. Seriously!! WHAT?!! We found out today that only about 2% of women who receive IVF treatment end up with an ectopic pregnancy. Does that really mean "Tasha, lets try this one out for size?" It is really depressing and aggravating!

So our next step is to make sure my fallopian tube does not explode. We have to go back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon and get a shot (what is one more right?). Let's just hope that I don't get the "common side effects" so that I can go back to work on Thursday.

As upsetting as all of this is ... and believe me Matt and I are very upset. We still believe that God is in control and that HIS will will be done. We will do another cycle of IVF because we still have babies "on ice". All is not lost. We still have hope (and no, not the one that Obama keeps talking about).

One thing about the future ... God is our ultimate physician. He is the healer when we are in pain. And HE will left us up when we feel like we can take no more.

We will not tell anyone when we start our next round of IVF. Know that it will happen. We will let you all know when we are carrying our miracle!

Unsure of what's next ...

Well, things are going badly right now. Matt has already posted the fact that we have been doing IVF and got pregnant. Now it looks like my body has rejected pregnancy once again. Matt and I are both hurting right now. Just like Matt said we are not looking for sympathy, just prayer as we travel (again) this road of pain. We know God is in control and that God will lead us.

We are going to the doctor on Monday. It feels a little weird that after all of this we still have to go see our doctor for more blood work. They will decide what the next course of action is.

I have decided that the weekend is not a friend for me. School has been a haven in which I can lock my emotions away and keep trucking on. I have to for my students. I know it isn't healthy, but it is the only way to cope right now. Believe me, there are more tears falling over the weekends and working through pain and sorrow.

More to come ...